It is most believed though unconfirmed, that James’ place of origin lies on another planet. He tells of no truth, or lie from whence he came, and neither could the stars speak clear of his past. One tale tells of a light shooting across the moon and into the sea, travelling the harsh and epic oceans and somehow ending up in a hospital in Nottingham. What is known was the word he first spoke, young; “Light”.

His sisters were the last of his family to realise he was alien to Earth after having conducted a series of investigations on him. All the documents were entered on WikiLeaks seventeen years later.

“They told me it was part of their homework, But if your siblings came into your room asking you to identify a series of pictures and hitting you with hammers, you’d guess they were onto you too.”

James can occasionally be seen tapping fingers or moving in short dance movements when excited. One of special alien gifts is his ability to identify the exact frequency of a sound wave beyond the audible range of the average human ear. Between 2004 and 2005, another investigation was conducted by the school music department as to what other abilities he may have possessed. The teacher in charge of the investigation eventually smashed his piano to pieces. All the documents from the investigation were entered on WikiLeaks five years later.

“I bet there are others of my kind who are good at this. I would have loved to relish over challenges with my folk, over relish-spread cheese toasties.”

During his life on Earth, James discovered comedy through the medium of television, film, radio and books. To this day he spends his waking and dreaming hours of every day consuming comedy to fuel his alien soul.

James’ goal in life is to become as goood a human as he can possibly be, destroying monsters on his way. One day, in 2010, whilst minding his own business selling teas in a gallery in the city of Nottingham, a strange man with a hat and a curly moustache lead a fellowship through the large doors of the tea bar to prepare a night of comedy of splenderiffic proportions. James’ curiosity lead him creeping towards the stage, and soon began to admire the troupé’s craftsmanship, and by the next day he wished to join and make a vow of dedication to the art of comedy to cure his curse for good.

“It’s been a quarter of an Earth century that I have lived on this planet, and with every year that passes I lose hope of making it back to whence I came. Now I feel there’s no need for me to return as I am happy enough to spend the rest of my life here. Every living race in this universe will come to an end at the ultimate fate, and If there’s one thing I hate, it’s these Earthling humans making a fuss of it, but my galactic instincts tell me to sit back, live the adventure and see how well we do by the end.”

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